Omg, I think my heart stopped for a moment, frozen in time. I remember the day my son got on the school bus, and kissed me to reassure me that he would be fine and ran onto the bus, as if he was ready for the world. He is still just like that, ready to run into the world while I hesitate and contemplate on if I can let go of his hand.
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I really enjoyed the flow of your short story. I could feel the emotion of a mother accepting a rite of passage into the world. Your writing engulfed my senses while placing me in a position to observe the human element. I anticipated the ending although I still yearned for more. Your short story really made my day!! Be blessed, Danny....
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Thank you so much for reading the story and for your comments Danny!! You made MY day;)
Just had to re-read it. Totally awesome, just like you!
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Awwww, thank you so much TJ!!!
Awesome! Almost made me cry, too!
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Thank you so much TJ!! And I LOVE your name - it's also my son's:)
I imagine this is a nightmare shared by many mothers, and possibly fathers around the world.
Thank you for sharing, Coleen.
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I really, truly thought I understood love before my son was born but I have to admit, I didn't have a clue:)
Our children are a big part of us, so in a way I guess it's like losing a limb to have to live, even one or two hours without them :))
I think that's why teenagers are rebellious... to frustrate us enough to be willing to let them go:)
So that's what my son's a cross between an angel and a hell's angel! ;D
Too funny Chris:)
A heartfelt tragedy improved by the old short story school doctrine of the dispute of tense intermingle with intense insights and flaming emotions.
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Thank you so much Nadwan!!!
The first couple paragraphs I couldn't tell which 'tense' the story was supposed to be set in... it threw me off for a bit.
Nevertheless, I was not expecting this surprise ending! Of course the 8am wake up was a hint, but I was thinking this son to be much older. Like college age.
So the element of surprise was used well. The last sentence almost made me laugh ;)
A great story. It read almost like a poem.
This was a fun read :)
---RbG
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Thank you so much!! And I very much appreciate the critique!! I have a terrible time keeping a consistent 'tense' and I will definitely keep that in the front of my mind as I write:) Thanks!!!
You're very welcome :)
That's lovely, Coleen. I won't even trouble you with my thoughts as I read and wondered what dreaded cause could pull you two apart.
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Awwww, thank you for telling me that!! I think the transitions are always harder on us than they are on them. My son is almost 13 now, and I still don't want to let go of his hand:)
My 13 year old just flew out to Texas on Monday. I thought I was going to die after he took off. My youngest is 6 and I have been sleeping in his room the last two nights, I am not ready for my boys to grow up! That is why this hit so close to home for me!