BookRix

i like this book. you did a great job on this.

Your story is quite sad, but held my interest. It's well written. I liked the ending. The mother was a strong woman to realize she needed to remove herself from an abusive relationship.

Feel free to lay a vote on me if you liked my story ;)

This story tells it exactly happens! My life consisted exactly the same until my husband died from cancer. He suffered as much or more for the beatings he gave me!

Thank you for sharing this and inviting us to read it.

I thought that you really channeled that anger, frustration, and helplessness you were feeling at the time through the words. Well done.

You are probably lucky with the unfortunate attack in the forum. I might not have looked at this story otherwise, as I'm sure you are picking up other readers as well. They say any publicity is good publicity, so take it and run.

Very emotional story. Many, many people are going to relate. Though I wasn't in a physically abusive relationship, I was mentally abused for close to thirty years before I found the strength to leave. Writing helped me to find this strength from somewhere buried inside.

I have a few line edits for you, but they are only suggestions. Feel free to ignore or delete if you disagree with any of them. Other than these small details I thouroghly enjoyed the story, if enjoy is the right word. Perhaps connected with the story. Thank you for putting it up.

> I was laying in the darkness (lying in the darkness)
> My mom, Jackie, was pretty fragile and, although she was glad . . .
(My mom, Jackie, was pretty fragile, and though she was glad . . .) Sounds a little less awkward this way.
>My grandparents kept their house a sweaty 75 degrees and upstairs it was more like 80. (Rule of thumb is to write out any numbers under one hundred, unless it is something like a house address. seventy-five degrees and eighty.
> That summer she had gotten married to John . . . (Awkward wording. That summer she was married to John . . .)
> . . . it is as much a testament to the power of manic-depressive illness as it is anything else. (This is a tense issue. Much easier to stay in past tense, it is easier to hold. . . . it was as much a testament to the power of manic-depressive illness as it was anything else.)
> This redneck piece of shit has just beaten . . . (tense again. This redneck piece of shit had just beaten . . .)
> . . . take good care of Chris', Grandma?" (Place the comma inside the quote.)
Hope it helps you out here. Good story and deserves to be placed where it is. Thanks for the emotional read. You got yourself another vote.
Denna

Wonderfully written story of a family living with domestic violence.
You have done an amazing job, good luck for the contest

Chris so well done. Such a hard time in a boys life to write about. But you did it and well. There is nothing closer than the bond of a mother and son. You were blessed to have the love of family to help you thur those hard times. You got my vote , best of luck to you, Rena Kay

Well written on a time of growth. These horrible experiences are what mold our character into being better or into giving up. I am happy that you and your mom made it to a better place.

Thank you for sharing this shattering portrait...Paula

''..many battered women stay in abusive marriages for the sake of their kids and because they have no other alternatives
well written sad story about a mother.
You got my vote.