The language and style here are intriguing, but I'm missing a clear message to stitch it all together. Perhaps you should try condensing your point into fewer words.
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really freaky was her tongue really cut out
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I'm impressed. May I ask, what's it about? I personally, think it's about a girl who has abused by the guy but the guy felt guilty.
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Thank you! I will tell you it is about abuse, but I love the aspect of poetry that is up for interpretation, so I don't know if I want to tell you what I meant it to be about...
Wow, I'm impressed. This is very inspirational and sad.
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yeah :) you have a great talent
Thank you so much. It's always great to hear that. It makes me feel like I'm actually doing something right! Haha.^-^
Well you are doing something right!!! Haha :))
I really love it you are really good at this. Good job<3
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Thank you so so so much! A heart for a heart. <3
I don't know how you did it, but that was a great poem. It was easy to understand for people like me, but it still was... sophisticated? Unique? The bottom line is I liked it very much so. Keeping writing poems. :)
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Thank you times a million! How could I stop writing poems with people like you who write such lovely compliments.(:
Wowzer. Honestly that was really freaking good. :D I don't get sad easily, but the poem tugged the heart strings. Speechless. Great job, can't wait to read your other books.
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Thank you for such amazingly kind words!
Proud to be favorite #30. Haha. I enjoyed reading your intriguing poetry and I love the cover. Nice work and I think you should continue writing poetry. The only thing for me is that every couple of lines I think you should turn it into a stanza. The writing is fine if you leave it the way it is now but sometimes as a reader it can get distracting and confusing with all those lines bunched together.
But that's just my opinion.
~Jillian
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Thanks for reading and I will definitely take you suggestion into consideration. I'm so glad you like it!
Your welcome (:
I know excautally ( really bad speller but im working on it.) what you mean and felt. I also had written a peom and my english teacher entered it into a contest. Don't know the results yet BUT reading your poem makes me want to put my poem on bookrix.
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Thank you. And you should put it on bookrix! I'd love to read it.
Thanks for the tip. I'll see what I can do with it.(:
Good luck :]
^-^