Hi Charlie,
I appreciate your nice comments on Haunted Destiny. My publisher had to pull it because I found an error in it, but I hope you buy it when it goes back up for sale. I think you will really enjoy it and I wrote it with teens like you in mind.
Now as for Is This Wonderland?, I really like the story concept. It is interesting and thought provoking. I am intrigued and would like to read more but I need to be blount... mehr anzeigen
Hi Charlie,
I appreciate your nice comments on Haunted Destiny. My publisher had to pull it because I found an error in it, but I hope you buy it when it goes back up for sale. I think you will really enjoy it and I wrote it with teens like you in mind.
Now as for Is This Wonderland?, I really like the story concept. It is interesting and thought provoking. I am intrigued and would like to read more but I need to be blount about a few things first.
You need to go back and re-edit your work. You have mis-spelled words, incorrect grammar, and incorrect usage of the spelling of certain words. For example you use their when you mean there. That is very distracting for a reader. You get lost in finding the errors and can't pay attention to your great story.
The other piece of advice I will give you is I don't think you need a prologue. The prologue sounds more like the back cover of the book. You don't need it. Just start with Chapter One and let the reader figure it out as you go along.
You might want to add why Jini feels like she has to creep along. I didn't really get that. Is she adopted? Or does she just have a feeling that she doesn't belong to her family. It was slightly confusing.
I really think you've got an awesome story idea here and you need to keep going with it. I like the cover but I would make your name bigger. You want people to know who you are.
Remember my comments are my opinion and mine alone. Don't rest all that you change on one opinion. Good luck with the story and no matter what keep writing.
Thankyou for even reading it Lol...of course il buy your book when it comes out, i really enjoyed it.
im posting the nest chapter now, and this is about the other members of 'the seven' so im hoping for some more feedback and i want you to know i really do appreciate it....x
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