BookRix

Wow. This is very nice piece. I really enjoyed reading it :)

However, I would like to give you some personal advice:

First, the introduction is very sweet. However, make sure that the sentences are easy to read, as in the first sentence. You say that your puppy is "...a 5 months year old terror". It took me a while to understand this. Yikes! You want your reader to understand what's written the first time around. Also, the second to last sentence was also a bit rough.

Some simple editing will do the trick ;)

It really helps if you read your work aloud, and this will allow you catch all your mistakes(or at least 99.999% of the time), so do it! Also, if you have your mom or friend read it through with you, this will help you catch mistakes also and improve your writing skills.

Ok, so now to the first chapter. I really like this story. It's excellent and absolutely captivating! The story itself is perfect :)

However, you really need to work on your punctuation and sentence structure. You also made several spelling mistakes(like spelling a word "here" instead of "hear"). So you need to go back over your work with a friend or sibling who can help you edit. And watch that you capitalize the proper words. The word "I" is always capitalized, so make sure you fix that.

Other than that, this was a wonderful piece. You could add more description though. That would greatly enhance the quality of your work. But keep at it! And let me know when you write more, because I want to know what happens to the puppy.

Remember, writing, like any sport, takes hard work and time to master. So don't quit!

Great job!
Keep writing!

---RbG

poor pup