BookRix

Can't wait to read more!!

Interesting start, keep me posted as you write more please~

A nice start, I'm interested and looking forward to reading more, but it is too soon for me to make any solid opinions. The spelling and grammar seems good, I'm better at judging content and structure of a story however as it is what I look for in a good book, so I will let you know as the story continues :)

I agree with Prakash's suggestions, but I love the originality of this story and am eager to learn more.
Chris

We'll just add to it as we go along, and it should be fairly often. But I'll let you know. :)

I like the premise of the story; certainly something different. Maybe you could have used a little more description of the protagonist(s), but that can always follow in later chapters.

Another thing - the prologue is meant to be a little more mysterious. It helps grab the reader's attention. You could have used some other mysterious person here whom you would introduce later in the story.

Grammar and punctuation remained quite flawless. So, a thumbs up from me.

Let me know when you add,
~Prakash