Outpost

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User: garilano
Outpost
A man known only as The Marshall rides into a small, desolate Outpost in search of a criminal he has been chasing for nearly ten years. The long-fought Civil War has ravaged the outlying areas by depriving them of much-needed supplies allowing Black Market goods and criminals to thrive. the only law comes from a group of government-trained men called The Marshalls.

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Gelöschter User

Space opera is right, I loved it. Even the cover lent itself to the deception that this might be a western. Nicely presented and well explained characters, to boot. Well done.

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Gelöschter User

1 obvious oversight, you need to correct one of your Keywords. I'm referring to 'pace travel' which should be 'space travel', I think. :)

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Gelöschter User

I really enjoyed reading this book. Thank you!

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RevkenR

The story surprised me at first. You are so thorough in your research, I thought "They didn't talk that way in the old west." Then all of a sudden, it wasn't the old west.

Really tricky, ... and really good.

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garilano

Thanks for the feedback Patrick. I have been planning a re-write on that piece as I see potential for some serious expansion. You are right about the final scene. It really could use more description to help the reader visualize the situation. I will work on that as well as play with the point of view.

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prandall

I think there's potential here with some good scenic descriptions and interesting dialogue. Needs some cleaning up on a bit of word repetition, typos and grammar as mentioned in felixthecat's review.

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Gelöschter User

I really like the mix of good old western with the new age science fiction twist, your characters are bold and interesting Im looking for more :)

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felixthecat

This short piece threw me for a moment or two...as I read the encounter between the Marshal and Durogin. My mind kept trying to focus on "Western" (I didn't read the genre tag on the cover).
I like the development of the Marshall's character, the back story that defines who and why he is what he is. Your scene setting at the hotel was excellent, too. What I am not sure about is the effectiveness of the chase and the outcome,... mehr anzeigen

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