BookRix

good book but short

Your cover is overused! I've seen at least two other books with the same cover. Come up with something more original!

Hi everyone. Well, I wrote this book when I was 10 1/2 years old. At that age, I didn't have good grammar. Anyways, I am going to delete this book, to have a fresh start and create new books, which is more detailed, good grammar, awesome spelling, and much more. I hope everyone can see this comment before I delete this. Sorry for the mis-understanding on this book. Thanks :)

I disagree with the way the book has been written. Bella is an immortal and can't be killed by nd if she was killed their would be no blood, only ice and her body would have to be burned. Also Edward would have acted WWWAAAAYYYY more upset if Bella died then just breaking a lamp. Edward would never do that to his child. He would also rather die without Bella and since he had Reneesme, a reminder of Bella, he would keep her as happy as he could. And Edward understood that Jacob imprinted on Reneeseme.

kinda sucked

liked it seems cool keep writing

I'm confused. Isn't Jacob only a few years younger then Bella when she had Renesme...that means that atleast fourteen to fifteen years have gone by for Renesme to be in Highschool...so why is Jacob still in highschool when he's in his twenties?

Look over your plot. Alot of it doesn't make sense.

I'm confused. Isn't Jacob only a few years younger then Bella when she had Renesme...that means that atleast fourteen to fifteen years have gone by for Renesme to be in Highschool...so why is Jacob still in highschool when he's in his twenties?

Look over your plot. Alot of it doesn't make sense.

Just a few suggestions. After you write walk away for a day or so then come back and reread your story. This will help you see grammatical and spelling errors as well as left out words.
Also double-check your source documents before you publish. This story is an awesome idea especially since Ms. Myers isn't planning on writing more, but you must be consistent. Ie: Edward had come to terms with Jacob imprinting, at the end of the last book he noted that he knew Jacob would take care of her. Edward was no longer jealous of Jacob and Bella's relationship because it was driven by Renessmae.

I would suggest not using 'texting' 'shorthand' in your stories. Writing the full word takes a bit longer but gives your story a more professional feel.

KUDOS to you for having the 'moxy' to put your story out there! Takes a lot of courage and I applaud you. GREAT JOB.

PS: I just saw your age. Wow, for your age you are doing a great job with your writing and imagination. Thanks for sharing!

sorry but bella is a vampire so she cant really die unless u snap her neck or set her on fire. otherwise the book is ok