Sorry it's been a long time since I went back to bookrix, so I have a lot to make up for, but I do have it updated a small bit, when you get the chance to read it, you'll be shocked at the new discovery. (it's not that much, I have writer's block, so it was a struggle even getting that much up)
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Holy Crap. That's all I have to say. Okay, no its not. Write more. I'm currently fixed on a book series and i need some sort distraction becuz the book doesn't come out for eight months. That is so sweet he saved her. Please let them fall so desperately in love. End my suffering on waiting. Names persephonee friend me so i can speak with u better and more.
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I try to not make them run-on, I'm not good at writing stories so my apologies for having so many issues in my book, i'll try to improve them the best I can. Thank you!
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One more thing though - some of your sentences run on. Lots of commas when it should really be two or more sentences.
Having said that, you're doing awesome. Keep up the good work!
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Wonderful writing style. Nicely done. The book was very interesting, straight to the point, and almost perfectly paced.
However, I do have some critiques:
First, there is no need to tell me whose POV the chapter/section/paragraph is written in. I, as a reader, will figure it out once I get past the first sentence or two.
Also, if you're going to switch POV's, I'd suggest you write in the third person. You can leave it how it is,... mehr anzeigen
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