Goodness gracious, done very nicely....Let me know when you have added more...Loved it...
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Bethany,
A sad story, but sadness does exist in the world. The story is to be continued, and I look forward to reading it. Good start as a writer; good first book.
James
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The way you wrote the lines was kinda unusual, but besides that, the story was good.
You could've wrote more though, with more details so the suspense could made me curious about what will happen next.
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