BookRix

I am new also and tend to check spelling and so on later, trying first to get a flow going. Like at the beginning when Lindsay describes the killing; move the words on to separate lines to give even sharp nastier intakes from the reader. Plan to give the reader a different feeling when getting information from the good and the bad cast.

So hey! This is the first time I've reviewed anything here (I'm new too), so bear with me and I hope this is more helpful than subjective.
(Bad cop:)I really wasn't expecting much after reading your posts and bio thinking the spelling errors were an indicator of poor craft. (Good cop:)But I was surprised to see that your work had some good feel to it, and definitely has some bite and interest to keep reading. Assuming the story spreads out well from here, it's a nice start! My advice is very simple: be a spelling and grammar Nazi to yourself. Always check and double check your words and punctuation, and not assume Word spell check has you covered. It helps but it's not the end-all. Once someone starts reading your book, all they want to do is be lost in the story. Every time they have to check their flow because a word is spelled funny, or the punctuation trips them up, it's like breaking the 4th wall in a movie in a bad way; we're reminded that there's a fallible author writing this, and our trust slips. We don't want to distrust the author. We want to believe every darned word they say, even the ones that make us mad. That's the easiest thing to fix that there is, so lock that down and everything gets way easier.
I would recommend some attention to varying sentence structure to keep a reading flow going, but I've also read novels by popular authors that don't do a lot of it themselves, so writing style isn't right or wrong as it is a case of preference to your readers. Anyway... Hope this helps, and by all means keep going.