BookRix

good one.chaste and simple with a humble inner meaning.

good one.chaste and simple with a humble inner meaning.

good one.chaste and simple with a humble inner meaning.

It kept my interest to the end. It had some grammatical errors but the story came across. You did well. thank you for the invite to read it./joeparente

A very apt title, because his widow will never, ever forget the last time she saw him and she never would know that he wanted to change his ways.

@cactusrose : Hey thanks for the warm review..n by d way I am Avisek not Avita...thanks nyways...

Avita, you've portrayed the troublesome aspects of relationship between a committed couple very realistically, and shown us that just when we least expect it the disasters of life occur because life is not always under our control. Makes me shudder to think about. Nice story! Warmly, C...

Sometimes the lesson is learned too late...very believable...Paula

Hi Avisek,

I liked your plot. You have some wonderful phrases that impressed me throughout your story.

Some spelling errors to look at, we all have them:

Pg 5 - ...but what the world didn't knew... should be know.

Pg 6 - ...derilicted house. Should just be derilict.

Pg 6 - ...John knew by her wifes... Should be his.

Pg 6 - ...He decided to let it thaw till today morning. I think you must have meant 'tomorrow'.

Pg 7 - ...Being enterprises... Should be enterprising.

Fish is singular and plural, like sheep.

I won't go further here. I suspect English might be your second language and as such completely understand the difficulty especially in writing as oppposed to speaking. Hopefully, in your interacting with others on BookRix, you'll be exposed to lots of feedback about appropriate use of English in your writing, so I wish you luck with this.

Repeating words:

Pg 6 - ...in his grandiose celebrations of celebrating the birth... Nothing a quick thesaurus check wouldn't fix. You have then used celebrating and celebrations again within the same paragraph. You could go with 'festivities', 'party', 'rejoicing', 'revelry', 'merriment', 'carousing'. I'm sure there are loads more.

Pg 7 - ...But still big enterprises did still... Again, the use of still two times in same sentence. Perhaps get rid of the first still. The line would still work, no jest intended there. Lol...

I hope my words have not been too disappointing. Good luck and keep working at it, you do have talent.

Bek :)

Thanx aditi...