Mississauga, Canada
We are standing up for change in this world. Our voices can and will be heard.
Just because we are children in the eyes of those older than us, doesn't mean
we are inferior. We may actually be better than our previous generation, but
nobody wants to realize that. A great example of this is the recent shootings.
Before, if there was a shooting, the voices of those involved would only be
heard briefly. But today,... mehr anzeigen
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
Anther two chapters added which pushes on the story a little.
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
I like the story. It has a feeling of being rooted in reality or being inspired by personal experience. I'm not an expert, you can take or leave my advice but in chapter 2 Jill has a lot of exposition dialogue which I know is important to the story but you might consider breaking it up a little with Jack joining the conversation every now and then. Also, the descriptive language Jill uses is a little unrealistic in my... mehr anzeigen
- Permalink
- Kommentieren
- Kommentare sind geschlossen
My world is an endless desert where I sporadically come upon a mirage. Every time I come close to something good it disappears.
As for your book, I think it's worth continuing in my opinion. But of course that is up to you. I don't write anymore either. Not worth the effort. But... mehr anzeigen
My world is an endless desert where I sporadically come upon a mirage. Every time I come close to something good it disappears.
As for your book, I think it's worth continuing in my opinion. But of course that is up to you. I don't write anymore either. Not worth the effort. But I believe you have a story worth telling.
Have a nice day Arthur.
Those few chapters in my book have been rewritten falling under the same book cover. I suppose the whole idea has been based on a cartoon magazine based on drawings followed by a box of words.
My pages have extended to nine. I do not want to make it a hard struggle for you so take as much. I like drawing so if there is a need for a side on to your work then please ask.