BookRix

This summary needs to be rewritten badly. It is full of unnecessary detail. "Both became werewolves the same week, since they are friends..they can't detect the smell on each other...until they go for a walk in the woods after school one day.." OK, why do we have to know about that right now? Why not say something vague to get readers curious like: "Two wolves of rivaling tribes/packs unwittingly befriend one another and are only getting closer. But when the truth is revealed will this growing relationship last, or will the revelations be enough to end it?" This was lame but still better than that inane dribble.

I know this story is ancient but it feels like legit every supernatural vampire/werewolf author are immature and haven't even tried to harness the strategy from professional writers. Sure this is a beginner's site but JESUS CHRIST! How hard is it to not dump a bunch of information on the reader in a summary? There's a famous quote that says, "show, don't tell," and it's a writer's job to SHOW the readers emotions not TELL them. SHOW us they didn't know about the rivalry or whatever (I don't know what the hell a Scree Werewolf). SHOW us the universe they live in. SHOW us emotions, SHOW us their relationship. Don't tell me. SHOW ME!

i've been... :) preoccupied...

please keep me updated!!

Good start, just add more detail and make your sentences flow more smoothly. :)