Wichtiger Beitrag
Great stuff. I really enjoyed it, you have a fast pace that keeps the story flowing smoothly.
my only 'negative' comment is that on page seven, right when they reach the girl's house, you switch from first person to thrid person. it kid of threw me out of hte story, and i had trouble getting back into it after that.
but that's the only problem i saw with it- the rest is great! :)
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