Holly's Story

Inspired by "My Immortal" from Evanescence Von:
Holly's Story
This story is about an elder woman on her 65th birthday, trying to go visit her sister. With the help of her nurse/friend Merissa. But something within the sisters' dark past will return.

Stichwörter: 
sisterhood, loss, lyrics, mystery
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Gelöschter User

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edensashes

In time I think you are going to make an excellent writer. The changes to Hollys Story were very effective. The thing I like the most about you is that you took the criticism and used it. Most writers, or any artist for that matter, take constructive criticism very hard and it makes them angry or resentful. I have been one of those people and I admit it freely. I let ego get in the way many times in my life especially when I... mehr anzeigen

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Rgabel

You used an unusual format for writing this story. Unfortunately I had to re-read several times to catch the changes.

But it was an interesting story, different. Needs some tweaking. Keep writing. Robynn

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edensashes

I see the emotion that is trying to come through the writers hand but there are some changes that you could consider.
I am the last person in the world who would suggest to a writer that they might benefit from a rewrite but I feel that in this case the story would be a little easier on the reader if were not in script form. It is written in the form of a movie or screen play for the most part.
I would think it would be easier... mehr anzeigen

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edensashes

I see the emotion that is trying to come through the writers hand but there are some changes that you could consider.
I am the last person in the world who would suggest to a writer that they might benefit from a rewrite but I feel that in this case the story would be a little easier on the reader if were not in script form. It is written in the form of a movie or screen play for the most part.
I would think it would be easier... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag
edensashes

I see the emotion that is trying to come through the writers hand but there are some changes that you could consider.
I am the last person in the world who would suggest to a writer that they might benefit from a rewrite but I feel that in this case the story would be a little easier on the reader if were not in script form. It is written in the form of a movie or screen play for the most part.
I would think it would be easier... mehr anzeigen

Wichtiger Beitrag
edensashes

I see the emotion that is trying to come through the writers hand but there are some changes that you could consider.
I am the last person in the world who would suggest to a writer that they might benefit from a rewrite but I feel that in this case the story would be a little easier on the reader if were not in script form. It is written in the form of a movie or screen play for the most part.
I would think it would be easier... mehr anzeigen

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sppellerd

That's a terribly sad story... Written and thought of beautifully :) Great job! Please check out my book, The Dreamer.(I'm looking for feedback) Thanks for sharing! :)
*~Jess~*

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