BookRix

This is overall one of my favourites, as

1) You have such a great style of writing, everything makes sense
2) The main characters life is alot like mine, (her mother yells at her for small reasons, her father is gone)
3) Your physical description of the girl is exactly like me in every way (yes, even the lack of chest)
4) I believe I have schizophrenia myself, I've been told I have little idiosyncracies like that of a person with that mental disorder
5) I've always had a dream to fly, it was my childhood aspiration
6) Your novel was very heart warming and even made me cry.

This book should be published and sold in all bookstores. Keep up the great work. (:

-Azure

I can't wait for you to write more.

looking forward to reading more of your work!

...the first comment is so unnecessary...
Anyway, i can clearly tell that you improved but somehow i personally find it a bit sad, that you shortened the prolouge that much. There were some very lovely lines in the old version like the one that she loved running because it was the closest she could get to flying and all this. These really described her personality very well and a few more words wont do any harm i guess, especially because you're using the line "she believed in wishes and pixie dust" three times which almost seems too much if you don't say much inbetween.
Also the paragraph "her heart was set on......" spoils the surprise effect slightly because the reader now knows from the very start that something isn't right with her whereas in the old version it was a long time still possible that she really had a fairy friend which made the end way more dramatic.
But this is all just my humble opinion, i still love your style of writing very much! Good luck with this new version of a truly brilliant story!

I see why you put this, but it is still in writing. I'm no where near done yet.

OMG! what is this? how can a book have only 12 pages? GOSH!