The Fall of Alice Brown

Again and Again Von:
The Fall of Alice Brown
Well, we all fall once or twice -not exactly true, but you gt the idea.
And for me, my first fall was when the first person to came into contact with me accidentally slipped. The lousy nurse name is Tefall. Another fall there. And guess what season my first fall occured -yep, it was fall.
Welcome to my life...there'll be a lot more fall.
p/s: just make sure you don't fall down while rolling around laughing
p/p/s: not that I'm saying you'll laugh while reading this...

Stichwörter: 
fall, diary, typical girl, alice brown, comedy
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
e.r.thaler

Hello Alice,
A good start and I hope you continue this story.
Greetings from Switzerland, Eve

1 Kommentar
alice brown

thanks a billion....
sobbing right now cause i just fall down in surprise
nah, just kidding
greetings from....wherever i came from (the womb, no doubt)

Wichtiger Beitrag
felixthecat

Nice.

I'm just not sure in my own mind whether this is a short-short story, or the beginning of a longer short (let's say 8-10,000 words?); maybe the prologue or first chapter of a novelette or full-on novel? That's your call as the author.

But here's what I honestly think. You need to do several things, but among them is consider lengthening Alice's tale by hundreds...no...thousands of words. You've introduced a good character... mehr anzeigen

4 Kommentare
alice brown

gasping x3...what, what,what is it???

*a profilic writer...here?! oh, thank u x6
it was for fun but when u make a big deal out of this...
i was like 'ok, no big deal. i can handle this.'
but, no...i'm freaking out actually...ok, not mature...>_<

alice brown

oh...now i see the other things...thanks again

felixthecat

Okay then:) But don't freak out.

alice brown

ok, i'm cool now...hahaha

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