BookRix

Write more! Please? :D

this is nice

I was hoping all the way through...but, no. You did a fine job creating this work. Nicely done.
Marc is correct about those tense oopses, but they're an easy fix. The really great thing about 1st present is your ability to narrate the story very intimately, and you did.
One other small thing...consider breaking those long narrative blocks down just a bit? Think "white space."
:)

WOW men problems much???

can't kill them. *sigh*

Liz deserved someone better, we all know that now. I think a sequel is in order! Nice story!

Those twists came out of nowhere! What a story :)

Sara...p