I was sad to see Jack go. I know it sounds funny to say it that way but you paint such a real picture with your words it feels like I am there watching.
Wonderful story.
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Wow...what a great piece of writing. You brought the characters to life and your descriptions were so vivid, I was there with them. Not a simple feat with a word count restriction. You have much talent, keep writing and bringing joy to your readers.
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Hello Alada, First, I liked your story but had a problem imaging anyone being able to carry a refrigerator through a window so, I went and looked it up and sure enough, there it is at K-Mart "Sakar Portable 12-Can Mini Fridge", just like in your story. So, I went back and read your story again and the images you painted came through all the more clearly. Your depth, insights and obvious empathy are well expressed; it is... mehr anzeigen
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This book is being featured in the new YoungWriters contest.
http://www.bookrix.com/_groupforum-en-win-a-writers-and-artists-yearbook-2003.html
Please vote in the thread if you would like it to win. (Simply press the green plus sign.)
Chris
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keep in mind it had to be 3k words, which is not a lot to work with as far as character development but I tried my best.
It's supposed to be a somewhat silly story, he stole the fridge because he's a weird homeless guy and it was a small fridge that he coudl possibly sell. Who knows, have you ever met a homeless person? they work in mysterious ways.
and I have no idea what you mean by 'beauty and the beast', what's similar?... mehr anzeigen
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The story in itself is not bad, however certain elements are predictable and the characters seem stereotypical and comic. I can't help feeling that this is merely a satire on 'beauty and the beast' or 'the pauper and the prince' as it evidently is centered around a similiar storyline. The characters are shallow at best and no relationships are explicitly deep nor personal. You definitely could improve.
The end seems... mehr anzeigen
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Alada,
I love the cover. The story is beautiful and touching. You are an exceptional writer.
Great work!
You have my vote.
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Thanks Judy for pointing me in this direction.
Voted.
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Wow! There is nothing I don't love about this story, it's very beautiful! I hope you decide to continue adding more to it. Maybe they meet later one and she's turned her life around, something like that. I enjoyed it thoroughly! You have my vote.
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You are a very good storyteller. Where have you been,where ever it was, I'm glad you're back so I can read more of your work. You got my vote.
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