A Slow Descent

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User: mokomonko
A Slow Descent
Who is Susan? A woman trapped by her fears, filled with the anxiety of the day, afraid of the monotony but at the same time afraid of change. She is barely a human, a person trapped in limbo. But there is something inside her, something that lives, something that could salvage her life. Something that could potentially destroy her.

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Gelöschter User

I was deeply moved. All that doubt, no self-esteem, the voices keeping her locked up in misery. Wow, great job of writing; producing such a sadness to reflect on.

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mrs.al

Your story really touched me :-) Susan is such a complex charakter and you feel with her.

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Rgabel

Review - It definitely fills the reader with questions, and makes you think. This is a strong story, that could use some fleshing out. More background. Little less in her head, and more of what is going on around her. I got a little lost during the party scene. But you did well in tying it together in the end. Need to intersperse her name more with 'she' in the beginning. Many sentences started the same way, 'she went to the... mehr anzeigen

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lizzy21

very catching and an enjoyable read. i agree - a prequel would be a good idea.

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mokomonko

thanks for your comment, it's hard to get stuff read on here sometimes. I'm considering writing a prequel or just lengthening it, but I wasn't sure if enough people would like it. Thanks for your support.

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Gelöschter User

Your blurb is very catching. I liked the short story. I think it can be developed into something longer, maybe could explain why she has so many fears in her, what happened when she was younger.

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