BookRix

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To tanya77 yea i know my writing teacher told me to do so too, but, my computer doesn't let me do paragraphs without making a huge space. I only have Wordpad and it's simple and has no grammar correcting thing so I spell a lot of things wrong.

Yea, thanks for the suggestions! I just didn't think about naming them XD but yes I am going through it right now :) thanks now I know what to look out for. And I am rushing it because I get the "Not really the plot" Out of the way. But I thought maybe i didn't need to put the names of the weapons because maybe it'd be funner to see if people get what they.What we call a sword and a cellphone they call a Selpher and a Hertur.

I like the book, I just have one suggestion. Lots of things that you name that are alien objects need explaining. You name them, but I'm not sure exactly what they are. Otherwise, I like the book. Keep it up!

But you need to polish it up better. You need paragraphs and have grammatical errors that needs to be fixed.

When there is new dialogue, you need a fresh paragraph. I agree with bookzilla, name the race of the aliens, so we know what kind they are. Hope you'll keep writing it.

I really like this idea. I think it could turn into a really great story. It's always interesting to see how other worlds view humans. However, I'm just wondering if aliens would really refer to themselves as "aliens". Shouldn't they have a name for their kind? You gave the weapon he carries a cool name, so I'm sure you could come up with something! It'd still be okay for the humans to call them "aliens" though.
Also, there are a few mistakes, such as "she stared sadly at the floor" when they are walking through a wooded area and some other grammatical mistakes. A quick read-over to double check would help to fix them.
You could probably slow down the story a little more also. It seems like you are rushing when you don't need to. You have a great idea and I think it will work itself out and you'll have a really interesting story in the end!
Keep it up!