Partners In Crime

It takes two to tango it also takes to commit a crime Von:
Partners In Crime
It's up to Jonah and his new friend Tessa (Tess) to stop a plot to kidnap the president's Daughter .will they save her in time or will they be too late?

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  • 259 Wörter
  • Ab 0 Jahren
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  • Veröffentlichung: 26.05.2013
Beiträge und Kommentare
Wichtiger Beitrag
Gelöschter User

It's not a bad start, and it most certainly has me interested. What I would like to suggest is that you have a little more variety in your sentences. Most of your sentences are simple and therefore makes them appear choppy. To make your writing run more smoothly you can add in fan boys or semicolons to help combine your sentences. Be sure to let me know when you update. I'm excited to see what happens next. :)

tj.gonzales
Wichtiger Beitrag
tj.gonzales

Very nice so far! Let me know when you have more....Can't wait to find out how Jonah saves the President's daughter.....

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