BookRix

I lay in bed awake at night
Your form never leaves my mind
Without you near I’m dying inside
Your love is all I want and more
That’s all I’m really asking for
So please
Please don’t let go of me
You’re the only thing that’s keeping me afloat
The one person who gives my heart hope
I love you more and more each day
Just promise me you won’t go away
- M. R.

You say I need to grow up, but what about you? You don’t even try to step up to the responsibility of parenting. You’re almost never around, you complain about buying things for our child, you don’t change the diapers nor dry the tears, you don’t witness firsthand every milestone, you don’t care to try. You don’t do anything.

Strange to think that I should be married by now, that i should be sharing a home with the father of my child, that I should be a house wife spending her days with her daughter. But I’m not, and I’m strangely sad about that last part.

#BrokenDreamsClub

i said i’d never let you go and i never did.

honestly just wish the past would stop being brought up. because all it does is make my brain and heart hurt. i don’t want to remember it. i want to forget it all. it’s the past for a reason.

what happened to “to death do us part”.....

I just wanna know how you couldn’t even tell me you were in a relationship. WITH MY BEST FRIEND NONETHELESS. Neither of you had the balls to fucking tell me. You still acted as if you were single as if everything was okay. More than anything did you act as if we were still together. You would cuddle me, hold me, tell me you loved me. We had sex for crying out loud and I wouldn’t even let anyone touch me for two years because of me getting raped and you knew that. But turns out you don’t even remember fucking me because you were too drunk. You don’t remember making me beg for it, remember toying with me. Remember having to keep me quiet so no one would hear me and know we were fucking. You don’t remember me digging my nails down your back and sides. You don’t remember telling me you love me so much during the entire time we were doing it. You don’t remember calling me Daddy’s good girl or Daddy’s little slut. You don’t remember roughly kissing me and having to stop yourself from trying to fuck me again before we both had to go home. You don’t remember holding my hand and telling me you love me while we took you home. No. But I remember all of it. How good it felt, how the euphoria felt. I didn’t learn till the next day that you had too much to drink or that you were in a relationship. Do you understand how much that hurt? We were together for a fucking year and broke up for three weeks if that and you got into a new relationship with someone I once held dear to my heart. And for what? To try to get over me when you told me that you’re still in love with me today and regret hurting me and that you still love me now. You try to tell me I deserve better when I’m the dumb fuck who doesn’t want better and I want you. You’ll never read this and you will never know how I feel but it’s something I wanna say so badly to you. I still and in love with you and still want you. We had plans to grow old together... to be married and have kids and live on that ranch you always dreamed about deep in the forest where we could star gaze and teach our children the constellations. What ever happened to us....

To the ones who read what I post

Thank you. For taking the time to check on me after my posts. For not judging me for them. For being here without even knowing who I am. For caring. Shits been rough lately especially with graduation coming so soon. I’m struggling immensely because I’m losing everyone I care about even my own sibling who chooses others above me. At least I know I have y’all. I love y’all.

Give me one reason to stay here
And I'll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here
And I'll turn right back around
Said I don't want leave you lonely
You got to make me change my mind
Baby I got your number and I know that you got mine
But you know that I called you, I called too many times
You can call me baby, you can call me anytime
You got to call me
Give me one reason to stay here
And I'll turn right back around
Give me one reason to stay here
And I'll turn right back around
Because I don't want leave you lonely
you got to make me change my mind