BookRix

I thought the concept for this story was terrific and the way it was presented was done so well, too. What a terrible ability to have considering that shadows are what make 'light' so very beautiful (otherwise, would we even really notice the light?)

Anyway, I wish I could have told you sooner but impartiality required that I waited until after the contest was over. But now that it is--kudos for a terrific tale.

Avery

you entered the contest too, awesome! I really enjoyed this before so I'll give it a quick vote :) Good luck!
-Angely

Well done. Good story with imagination.
A cliff-hanger ending? Perhaps not. We all know what happened to our hero.
I voted.
Btw...I really believe Barry gets paid by the word...lol.

A fine peace of furniture, built from a sturdy bit of hardwood.

instead of the perfectly functional square corners you've used, dovetailed joints will prove more reliable and make the piece a longer lasting heirloom.

While the top is polished to fine finish... some of the interior could use another pass with the sandpaper (and even a hint of linseed oil) applied with the same craftsmanship you've shown in the original construction.

Because, as you and I well know, sometimes hitting a nail too strongly on the head can spoil the whole piece.

I'll give it three hammers up.

I liked the tone and voice of your story. Very nicely done. The story was interesting, and has a very unique concept! Burning shadows... very, very original.

However, I do have some critiques:

Great start, though I was a bit confused as your style seemed to switch. First it had a classical, mature feel(which I LOVE!!!) and then it switched to more of a modern feel. Neither one of the styles are bad(on the contrary, they are both quite good), but I think putting them together is a bit like mixing water and oil.

Also, in the first paragraph of chapter one, your sentences didn't connect very well. The flow was choppy and rough.

Besides that, it's quite good. Well written, I must say. Job well done! Oh, and I absolutely LOVE the cover ;)

Excellent job!
Keep writing!

---RbG

I agree with Angamonkey - the poem was a great addition to the thoughts of his journal entries. This is definitely a recommended reading. Brilliantly done! 8D

Wow, I'm very glad that you recommended this. I adore how you turned Pauline's name into a poem for the character to reflect upon. I also like the journal format,it really helped tap into the protagonist.
-Angely

will do.

I really like the concept of this book. I think some of the entries could be expanded upon. If they are it will only help understand the character more. But I really like it!