BookRix

I appreciate your taking the time to go through the beginning of Sunset.

Evercaptivating. I am sort of in a rut right now with how to connect the beginning to the rest of the tale but I will be adding to it shortly; i am counting on your critique.

Wow! Hadn't realized I was doing that so much. I will definitely make it a point to cut down on it. Thanks.

We are thrown into this feet first and I love that! I sympathized with the main character and was drawn in by the drama and mistakes she made. This was well written and captivating. You are a wonderful writer. Great beginning!

Good story but you need a little work on sentencing. They are a little long and the use of fill in words were a little much ,it sort of sent me aback but all in all it was good./ the previous sentence was an example of what I am talking about. You can fix this easily. It will make your story a much smoother read./joeparente.