BookRix

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You know that actually sounds a lot better than what I have, would you mind if I borrowed elements of it and added it to my ending. Or are they copy-written lol!

Dependable and timely as ever, thanks for the critique. I will have a critical look at the piece again.

Big smiley right back at you.

What do you mean by editing, I have tips on re-evaluating punctuation; would you happen to have a different approach- I'd really appreciate the pointers.

Thanks for reading, I will definitely be adding more chapters shortly.

You have a good story concept. I like the essence of the last line at the end, but I suggest you can paraphrased it as “A cloud has come over the moon and it casts some of its shadow upon the spot where he stood; he was there, then there was the shadow and soon he was gone.” I agree with the suggestion of Ayelet that adding the appropriate punctuations might help your readers understand it easily. You’ve started this e-book well. Just keep on writing . . . Have a great week!

:)

And imagination capturing. At first, I found the language different, canted in such a way I had to read twice. But I quickly caught the flow and liked it. Almost lyrical, but definitely outstanding. Good job. I really liked it and would love to read more. Robynn